decisions.

I've made a decision.

It's over.

No more.

I'm taking my self respect back.

I'm starting from the beginning.

People who are reading this and know what i am talking about...i'm sorry. You guys are wonderful, awsome people and keep growing in the Lord. I love you.

My birthday.

The title of this blog post is a lie.

It actually has nothing to do with what i am about to say....

.....OK maybe it does. lol.

Jesus' grace is sufficient. I am not perfect. and He keep showing me over and over that i don't have to be for Him to speak through me.

And whether i think it or not He IS doing a good work in me. (here's where my birthday comes in...)

This is a new year. 15 is gonna be different then 14. I'm not going to make those same stupid mistakes. the old Jesssica is gone and the new Jessica is here.

Amen. :)

Slave to sin.

"We know that the law is spiritual; but i am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what i do. For what i want to do i do not do, but what i hate i do. And if i do what i do not want to do, i agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer i myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For i have the desire to do what is good, but i cannot carry it out. For what i do is not the good i want to do; no, the evil i do not want to do-this i keep on doing. Not if i do what i do not want to do, it is no longer i who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

"So i find this law at work: when i want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being i delight in God's law; but i see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What i wretched woman i am! who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God-through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, i myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.

"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature, God did by sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in sinful man, in order that the righteous requirements of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the sinful nature but according to the Spirit.

"Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires.

"The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; the sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so. Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God.

"You, however, are controlled not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Christ. But if Christ is in you, your body is dead because of sin, yet your spirit is alive because of righteousness. And if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, He who raised Christ from the dead will also give you life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit, who lives in you.

"Therefore, brothers, we have an obligation-but it is not to the sinful nature, to live according to it. For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live, because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by Him we cry, "Abba, Father." The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs-heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in His sufferings in order that we may also share in His glory"

I feel like there should be an amen after all of that. Let's say, i've been struggling with sin. Repetitve, addictive, annoying sin. I can't seem to escape it. By addictive, i mean that it's something i hate and love doing at the same time. Annoying right? Part of me hates that what i am doing is pushing God farther and farther away from me and the other half of me is dying to stop. I don't even know how i stumbled across this verse but i did. I'm not sure how i am going to live by it, but it gives me hope. And, let me tell you, by hell or high water i AM going to defeat this sin! No more of those stupid lies from satan telling me that i've screwed up too many times or that God isn't big enough to knock this thing out. He can and He will!

Amen.

post advance

well. the advance is over.

actually it ended on sunday...and it's wednesday 0.0

anyways! it was great!

we had a LOT of fun. such memories.

playing pictionary charades at midnight.

having cheeze-it wars when we are supposed to be sleeping (the new fill in for starburst wars)

flouncy. (don't ask, some things just don't need to be explained)

peter's AMAZING sermon.

but enough of all of that.

I learned that i don't have to be perfect. and i don't want to be perfect. and in God's eyes i am valuable, accepted, forgiven, and and overcomer.

That's what i learned over this trip.

that and seeing a new side to people....=)

and THE BEST car ride back EVER. I LOVE YOU JDubbs, Karista, and Becksters!!

There is nothing better than sitting in a car on a hot day, with the windows down and the sunroof open, listening to owl city, and being with awsome people that also happen to be good friends.

Pre-advance

ahhh before the advance.

The Generation Church Advance.
link:http://www.delmarfullgospel.org/dnn/

Anyways, the time before the advance (it's tomarrow) is always happy and exciting and sometimes slightly stressful! Packing and such.

I'm willing this advance to be different. I know i'm going to meet Jesus and i know He wants and needs to show me something. Clear some things up. I just have no idea what He is going to say or how He is going to do it.

I suppose it springs from a mindset that my problems are bigger than Him. That's so untrue, yet i believe it. Maybe He needs to get rid of some lies...

Probably. I'm just hoping i hear something from God. That He tells me something i need to hear. I don't just want a good time with my friends, i want to encounter Jesus.

In all, another blog post will come sometime in the week after the advance. I'll tell you everything, trust me =)

Wrongly Accused.

I've been wrongly accused in my time.

More now than ever...

But so was Joseph. (Genesis 37-47)

But through that experience of him being....

Mistreated,
Wrongly accused,
And forgotten.

Jesus did a great work in him

Joseph remained faithful.

He didn't waver or move away from God.

And thus Jesus made him second in command to the king.

God had a great plan for his life!

But if Joseph hadn't gone through those trials he never would have been strong enough to be second in command.

It gives me great hope and encouragement to stay strong and keep running the race.

Even when i'm wrongly accused, i'll be ok because Jesus will clear my name and bless me above and beyond what i can imagine.

He has a great plan for my life.

Forgiveness and Grace.

Something my youth pastor has always told me is....

There's always forgiveness and grace.

I guess i got that as head knowledge but...

When someone has hurt me it's easy to forget.

But i need to remember...

There's always forgiveness and grace.....