post advance

well. the advance is over.

actually it ended on sunday...and it's wednesday 0.0

anyways! it was great!

we had a LOT of fun. such memories.

playing pictionary charades at midnight.

having cheeze-it wars when we are supposed to be sleeping (the new fill in for starburst wars)

flouncy. (don't ask, some things just don't need to be explained)

peter's AMAZING sermon.

but enough of all of that.

I learned that i don't have to be perfect. and i don't want to be perfect. and in God's eyes i am valuable, accepted, forgiven, and and overcomer.

That's what i learned over this trip.

that and seeing a new side to people....=)

and THE BEST car ride back EVER. I LOVE YOU JDubbs, Karista, and Becksters!!

There is nothing better than sitting in a car on a hot day, with the windows down and the sunroof open, listening to owl city, and being with awsome people that also happen to be good friends.

Pre-advance

ahhh before the advance.

The Generation Church Advance.
link:http://www.delmarfullgospel.org/dnn/

Anyways, the time before the advance (it's tomarrow) is always happy and exciting and sometimes slightly stressful! Packing and such.

I'm willing this advance to be different. I know i'm going to meet Jesus and i know He wants and needs to show me something. Clear some things up. I just have no idea what He is going to say or how He is going to do it.

I suppose it springs from a mindset that my problems are bigger than Him. That's so untrue, yet i believe it. Maybe He needs to get rid of some lies...

Probably. I'm just hoping i hear something from God. That He tells me something i need to hear. I don't just want a good time with my friends, i want to encounter Jesus.

In all, another blog post will come sometime in the week after the advance. I'll tell you everything, trust me =)

Wrongly Accused.

I've been wrongly accused in my time.

More now than ever...

But so was Joseph. (Genesis 37-47)

But through that experience of him being....

Mistreated,
Wrongly accused,
And forgotten.

Jesus did a great work in him

Joseph remained faithful.

He didn't waver or move away from God.

And thus Jesus made him second in command to the king.

God had a great plan for his life!

But if Joseph hadn't gone through those trials he never would have been strong enough to be second in command.

It gives me great hope and encouragement to stay strong and keep running the race.

Even when i'm wrongly accused, i'll be ok because Jesus will clear my name and bless me above and beyond what i can imagine.

He has a great plan for my life.

Forgiveness and Grace.

Something my youth pastor has always told me is....

There's always forgiveness and grace.

I guess i got that as head knowledge but...

When someone has hurt me it's easy to forget.

But i need to remember...

There's always forgiveness and grace.....

His love.

I can never

and we can never

fully grasp His love.

His love for us

His unfailing love for us.

It never changes.

It doesn't matter how much we change, His love for us never changes, because He never changes.

His love is

unfailing
powerful
strong
reliable
unmatchable
and amazing.

I want to love like Jesus loves.

I want to really understand and embrace His love.

Everyday.

For the rest of my life.

Things i'm happy about.

I figured it would be a GREAT idea to list all the things that make me happy(and i am very possibly thankful for). So here we goooo....

I'm alive.
Jesus is good.
And He rose from the grave.
And He lives in me.
Meghan (aka strawburry17 on youtube) shipped the contest prizes today..
So i will get a tshirt and bracelets by next week.
I have amazing friends.
Even when everything falls apart, Jesus is holding me together.
I can, have, and will overcome sin in my life.
I get awsome encouraging texts from awsome encouraging people.
The truth has and will set me free
and i will find the truth
There is going to be a guest speaker at gen church tomarrow.
It's 10 days until the GC advance.
I have a cat.
Chapstick pwns.
Jesus loves me.

The end

:]

The Good Emotions.

I've been emphasizing a lot lately about how important it is for me to let go of all my pissed-off-ness feelings.

and trust me i've done a lot of it lately

(Lexi will tell you that ;))

But today as i was outside i realized that it's just as good and normal for me to release the good emotions!

I wasn't totally sure they were there but as i was outside helping(ish) my dad with the yardwork i realized they are there.

In the midst of running around the yard and doing random crazy stuff and being loud i just started to laugh.

I haven't laughed for nothing than just because life was good for a long time.

And i realized that being happy is very dependent on my state of mind.

I have to want to be happy. and realize everyday that i can be happy.

I just have to let myself be. :)

To top off the day with a good story....

So, i was outside with my dad when my mom was inside cooking dinner. She called for me a couple times from the window and i didn't hear her. After she practically screamed my name i heard her, freaked out and went running for the window. Well, when i got about three feet in front of the window my feet slid out from under me and I went crashing onto my bum. It was hilarious to say the least. I recovered quite quickly and stood up in about three seconds. To see my mom looking at me trying not to laugh her head off. As she described it "I saw you running and then you were gone in a split second! and then you shot right back up again!" All in all i almost peed myself and am i praying that the grass stains come out from the backside of my favorite jeans lol.

So anyways! I am going to go do some school and be happy with it. Go to my friend meghan's live show and show kindness to someone, just because that makes me happy. I'd encourage you to do the same. :]

Overwhelmed

Sometimes i feel so overwhelemed.

Everywhere i turn someone wants something from me.

Mostly school and leadership responsibilities.

and when i have a bunch of baby Christian friends that need advice and wisdom.

I don't know what to do with all of it at times

Sometimes i just want to throw it all back and give up. It feels like too much.

I feel so inadequate to be giving people advice or wisdom or to have the leadership positions that i do.

But as i told my friend Lexi =) when she asked me what i was going to do.....

"and believe that if God wants me in these positions and friendships that He's going to give me the supernatural to move foward and do the work He's called me to do right now"

I'm believing for that. God is more faithful than i ever am and He WILL give me the strength to do everything that i have and want to do on a day to day basis. =)

family

It's mother's day. So of course i'm thinking about family.

I realized something today while the following were happening in my parents' bedroom.....

David was jumping around and singing

Jeremiah was grabbing him and telling him to shut up

Enoch was reading the flavors of the jelly beans we got my mom

My mom was telling us how much she loved us

and my dog was barking.

I felt a little overwhelmed but then it hit me...

this is MY family.

If MY family was just like some else's family then it wouldn't be MINE.

And i am perfectly happy with the way they are

Whether it be....

Loud
Crazy
Insane
Hyper
Weird
or just plain noisy.

I love them the way they are and i need to remember that more often.

Rampage.

So for the past half hour I have run around my room and house cleaning. I have no reason or idea as to why i did this. But it felt good. For no good reason i was pissed, and i didn't act like i was ok. I slammed a couple doors and ignored my brothers more than once. It felt good. Not to sin, but to just be mad. and be ok with being mad. I didn't try to make myself happy i just let myself be unhappy for a while. I'm still not happy but i'm ok. I feel better. Like i let go for a while. I didn't worry about what i was going to do later. I didn't worry about what everyone thought of me. I didn't worry about anything. I just ran around my room and cleaned it top to bottom. I found the four phones in our house and put them on their proper bases. I threw something in the recycling. I took out the garbage. I let my body just focus my anger and pissed-off-ness and just emotion into something productive and it felt good. It felt good to let it go. Not to shove it inside waiting for someone to come along and set me off. It felt really good. and I think i'm gonna do it more often.

Happiness.

Someone told me something this week that shook me to the core.

It's ok to be happy.

I honestly don't know why this is such a hard thing for me to grasp.
It's ok. It's not a sin.

And the best part is...

Jesus wants me to be happy.

But i don't know how. I've constantly self proclaimed myself to be super sereous.
Has that stolen my happiness?

No, it's not just that.

The devil has stolen it. The enemy who is thirsty to destroy my soul has done it.
I know what i must do.

Take it back.
The enemy IS NOT allowed to have my joy or peace.
Yes, that is what i will do.
Take it back.
Take it back.
Amen.